Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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