You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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