Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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