How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
