We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
