please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
