accomplished twins. life is a go
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
