my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
