New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just had sex on a roof
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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