i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
