the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
