Soap is not a condiment
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
