Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
