very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
