i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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