Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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