were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
