Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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