clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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