erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it hurts more in the daytime
Redeem this text for a blowjob
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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