At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well I just put wine in my tea
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
