My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize