Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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