It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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