Already got asked if we're dating
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
