its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
