Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Found the puke drawer
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
