dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
