he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
