So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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