My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
