Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
