why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
