please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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