I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
