Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
