I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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