ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found puke in my bra..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
