i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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