yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
