I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
