if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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