don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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