i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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