nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
