she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
