Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
