There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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