I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
