Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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