I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
