I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
