I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm passing your future prison.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
