I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
